Rituals and Lucky Habits

I'm Jewish, so I fast every year for Yom Kippur, but I understand the reasons for it. I feel good after spending the day cleansing myself. I also observe Passover and watch what I eat that week. I consider that an homage to my ancestors.

But one thing I don't understand is what I call my "Lucky Habit" I consider it luck, not divine intervention, because the habit involves me replacing God with the fictional object of my affection. Some consider me obsessive, but it's the only religion I have that wasn't shoved down my throat from age three. It's a kind of healing for me. My mother still thinks I'm incredibly religious, and she's right, but I've made my own religion. When it rains, He's there, I go to the highest point I can reach and feel so close to Him. Why? Because I've been doing it for years. It's what I consider lucky. If I go to sleep one night and it rains without my knowledge I feel incredible guilt, I don't know why. It might just be an after effect of the fear of higher powers ingrained in me as a child.